ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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