it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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