Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
