Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
