Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
