At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
