Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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