I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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