I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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