woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize