she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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