I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
