how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
