I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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