I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
