5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
