Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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