If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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