i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Congratulations! We have a period
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
