What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
