i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
