CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
