i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
