yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
