Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
only if we run a train.
done.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
