wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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