Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
