I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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