Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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