My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize