North Korea, Best Korea!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
