Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
