pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
