How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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