Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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