thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
