this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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