Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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