They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
