Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I love you.
Bad choice
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
