he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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