Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
