His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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