I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize