I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
