She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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