My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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