So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The Olympian is in my bed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
