i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
