I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
