capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
