I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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