That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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