Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
