She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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