just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
