new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
