I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
