I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's the barista slut.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
