I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
